Some stuff that generally piques my curiosity

Gender, Sexuality and expectations regarding each

Philosophy

Power Dynamics in Relationships (couples, parent/child, etc.)

Impacts of Industrialization on Humanity

Impacts of Religion/Spirituality on Humanity

Relationship to the Natural World

Family Structures (modern and historical)

Concepts related to Time and linearity

Flow States when engaging creativity

Historical importance of Ceremonies and modern loss/reinvention

I am Not the Expert

The modality I most closely follow is called Narrative Therapy. One of the guiding principals of Narrative is the understanding that I am not the expert in your life, you are. I cannot know all the rich details of your experiences and relationships therefore I am not interested in determining what is right and wrong according to me (or society at large). And while I am not an expert on your life, I am an expert noticer…I am going to notice strengths, skills and values that sometimes go unnoticed while living a complicated life full of ideas about how we should behave. I will point out when I hear you aligning with your values and help connect you to how that feels as well as when you might be doing what you think you should do versus what you’ve decided is right for you.

Context Matters

One of the most important aspects of Narrative is the understanding that we exist in our cultural context and are subject to expectations from society to behave in specific ways that may or may not be fair or reasonable. This is where our ethnicity, gender, sexuality, socioeconomics etc. impact our experience in the world, but the cultural values don’t make space for the impact of those other ways of being, often resulting in feelings of failure or anxiety. I am going to hold your specific context in mind as we work through difficult material. Your context and values will guide our work, not generic ideas of how people ‘should’ behave.

The Problem is the Problem, not You

Another guiding principal is the idea that people aren’t the problem, the problem is the problem. You exist outside of anxiety, depression, trauma etc., but these forces can act upon us in a devastating way. To use anxiety as an example, you are not anxious. Anxiety is an experience that shows up and wreaks havoc. It is an experience, a powerful relationship even, but you are not anxiety. With that important distinction in mind, we can work on that relationship with anxiety and how much influence that relationship has on your life.

There is Dignity in our Struggle

Because I don’t have a set idea of what your life should look like, I can more easily hear your story without judgment creeping in. When we can examine your life and choices free of shame and full of curiosity, we can more readily decipher how you might want to move differently. If you’re drinking more than you want or letting jealousy get the best of you, tempting you to snoop in your partner’s phone, we will get really curious about why that’s happening, how it’s helping you and how it’s getting in your way. Most importantly, we will maintain your dignity in the face of anything we come up against. Nothing will make me fail to see your humanity and from that place we can explore what kind of life you’d like to lead and how.